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Home » Psychology

Love is Blind?

Submitted by on November 13, 2010 – 10:37 pm3 Comments

Rihanna, a pop star, decided to break up with singer Chris Brown after being beaten by him, and said that she felt embarrassed that she fell in love with the type of man he was.

Approximately 1.3 million women are physically assaulted by intimate partners in the United States annually, experiencing an average of 3.4 separate assaults per year (Tjaden & Thoennes, 1998). Physical intimate-partner violence victimization could not only lead to physical harmful consequences such as injury, chronic pain disorders, but also negative mental consequences such as post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD), depression, substance abuse and suicide. However, many abused women still choose to remain with their abusive partners and approximately 40% to 60% of women who have successfully left the abusive relationship return to live with their partners. The decision to terminate abusive relationships appears to be a complex and difficult one. Using qualitative and quantitative methods, researchers have identified a variety of practical and personal considerations that influence women’s decision to leave or stay in an abusive relationship. These include economic factors, fear, commitment, belief that the abusive partner will change, and societal attitudes and expectations about intimate relationships. More recently, Byrne and Arias’ study (2006) found that women would hold stronger intentions to end their relationships if they held positive attitudes toward ending the relationship and believe that they will have control over ending the relationship. It seems that women choose to stay in abusive relationships not because Love is blind, but because it’s hard to leave.

Christina A. Byrne & Ileana Arias (2006). Predicting Women’s Intentions to Leave Abusive Relationships: An Application of the Theory of Planned Behavior.

Rihanna “Embarrassed” She Fell for Man Like Brown.



People stay in abusive relationships for many different reasons. It is not a simple situation and no one should judge someone who decides to stay. These reasons are (for example):

Emotional reasons:

  1. Fear
  2. Low self-esteem
  3. Experienced abuse as a child and doesn’t know anything else
  4. Feel isolated
  5. Shame or embarrassment
  6. LOVE
  7. Depression
  8. Guilt
  9. A desire to make it better
  10. Hope and dreams of a certain way of life
  11. Children

Economic Reasons:

1.      Unemployment

2.      Lack of education

3.      Home belongs to partner

4.      Money controlled by partner

5.      Children

Social Reasons:

1.      Cultural issues

2.      Community’s response

3.      Isolation from community

4.      Lack of information and resources

5.      Lack of support from friend, family and/or community

6.      Religious beliefs  (that it is ok to beat women)

7.      Family beliefs

God Knows best,

Yours Islamically and Maqasidically,

Abdullah Hasan


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